Toilets-Erin

I had the lovely experience of trying to use one of Taiwan's toilets the other day (usually they have a Taiwan toilet and a toilet that you can sit down on, this place didn't). The toilet is pictured below. I had to meet Patty that day to do stuff for my ARC (alien residence card) after I was done teaching. I decided to stop somewhere and get something to eat before I met her. After I was done with my meal nature was calling and I had to rush to answer. I got up and went to go into the bathroom. I closed the door and turned around to see what looked like a hole in the ground surrounded by porcelain. I searched around the room for something similar to the toilets that I am used to or at least something I could sit down on....nothing. I thought to myself, "what I am supposed to do with this thing"? I stood there for a good 2 minutes just staring at the hole, standing over it in different positions not knowing what to do. I had to go so bad so I decided to give it a shot. I pulled my nice dress pants down and squatted over it and rested my hands on the part of the porcelain that comes up so I was facing away from it. It is not as easy as it sounds with your pants around your ankles trying to squat and not fall into the porcelain hole. Needless to say I failed the task. I got pee all over my pants and had to stop in the middle of peeing and then try to stand up straight without falling. I tried to clean myself up as much as I could because I still had to meet Patty. I pulled up my stinky, damp pants and left the Taiwan toilet that defeated me. I told Patty the embarrassing story and she thought it was so funny. She also told me that where I put my hands is where you are supposed face. The part that sticks up out of the ground is supposed to act like a sheild for your pee. Well that made me even more grossed out to know that I had my hands on the place where people's pee lands!!! Even after she explained to me how to use the damn thing I still don't understand especially if you are wearing pants or shorts. It might be possible to do if you are wearing a skirt but I don't see how you avoid getting pee on your pants. Maybe you have to take your pants all the way off, I don't know. All I know from now on to just hold it until I can find something where I can sit on.